Reflections

There nowt as queer as folk - ain’t that the truth!

The human race are a strange complex and infuriating species. We can’t help but shit in our own backyard, polluting the planet, raging war and being generally shit towards each other - yet among the shittiness there are pockets of light and hope for humanity with people standing up for the oppressed and against those who are corrupt. Right now I’m not quite sure which side will reign victorious but I’m rooting for the good guys and hoping for miracles!

I ration how much news I watch each day as it can become too overwhelmingly sad otherwise, as the tragedy of life seem to be document more heavily than news with levity and integrity.

I despair with our political environment and wish we had more palatable alternatives - at this moment in time I have no clue how to vote at the next general election. I loathe the Tories, but currently our labour alternative aren’t in reality a real alternative but just Tories in disguise.

Marking the 14th anniversary of mums passing has brought the value of life and mortality to the forefront of my mind. None of us are immune to loss,  it’s the nature if life, the eternal cycle of birth, life, and death. However none of us anticipate we will have to face war, famine, flood, terrorism or natural disasters on top of that.  So many have faced so much loss and it’s heartbreaking. Seeing the devastation and bewilderment of innocent civilians caught up in war and disasters makes me feel guilt for being safe, warm and fed. For this I count myself fortunate but feel deeply for those who weren’t. 

None of us choose to exist where we do, it’s a lottery of life. I welcome those who wish to come to our country to flee from war or persecution and seek a safer better life. I am vehemently against the government’s Rwanda scheme and think of how much better the money they have been used - on the NHS, housing, transport etc.

Life feels more precious, with the passing years. With each day appreciated and valued in ways I would not have been able to comprehend in my youth.

Ideals held in years past seem frivolous and superficial - now I find myself appreciating the small joys in life, the little wins.

Looks, size, weight and what others think of me no longer rate highly in my mind. Instead its quality of life, holding onto and appreciating special relationships and thanking my body for functioning at any level is a bonus. 

I remind myself to take what I can when I can, to live in the moment, to try not to over analyse everything, to ask for help when I need it, to appreciate the small things, to not feel guilty when I need to take time out to rest and manage my energy. To acknowledge my privilege and to not take it for granted.

We are a strange, peculiar, wonderful, self destructive yet contradictory race with a huge capacity for love as well as destruction.

I admire and support Feargal Sharkey (@feargal_sharkey on x, formerly twitter) fighting against our waterways pollution, Susie Dent (@susie_dent) for always making me chuckle with her words of the day that somehow link topically with the news, Carol Vorderman (@carolvorders) for taking on the Tories and many others who can vocalise my thoughts so eloquently that I don’t have to and just share instead! 

I’m grateful for my life, despite the lows, the struggles, the grief and despair - I am rich in love, family, connections, and plans for a positive future. 

Nothing’s certain, anything can and will happen, so seize the day in whatever way you can, look out for each other, look for the positives, don’t ignore but acknowledge and address the negatives. 

Don’t judge those around you because no one shows the outside world the truth of what they are dealing with or feeling, let’s face it - do you? I know I don’t! 

Do whatever you feel you have to do for you. Don’t live life to please others - that’s a road to nowhere! 

I try to live my life unapologetically, embracing who I am and acknowledging myself warts and all. It’s so much less stressful than the way my younger self lived. Perhaps it’s because I’m far more aware of my mortality- something that never crossed my mind in my youth.

So you go be you and just be the you you want to be. 

x~X~x