Lucky

I am lucky - pure and simple - and I have been reminded of that again today.

I had found myself in a funk, the world is a scary place right now and it frightened me and had made me a tad low in mood.

Then a gift today woke me up and shook me up - I feel as if I have been zapped awake again and can once again see positivity and hope in the future.

Having my birthday during lockdown meant my presents (that I had asked not to be given this year - tsk - but did they listen?), were belated, as everything is taking much longer to be delivered due to the unprecedented high demand us online shoppers are creating.

However cross I was at my family for ignoring me and buying me gifts I have to say the thought and love behind them is awesome and I love them all and have been thrilled by their thoughtfulness and generosity, knowing how limited their finances are right now.

On my actual birthday in May they all gave me flowers, chocolates and wine. Which I loved, and I had a wonderful day.

Then presents continued to arrive as you will see below, each one pertinent to my likes and way of life and so hugely loved - with opening each gift I cried, quite hard in fact which I am attributing to unstable menopausal hormones and deep appreciation of the consideration given to each gift.

First to arrive was a trio of books from my husband, who knows I am very much into studying and working towards growing and making my own medicinal stockpile of home remedies.

My gorgeous husband on a boat last September when we were away in Greece

Brilliant Books!

I am working towards taking an online herbology class at my Pagan school and so these books mean the world to me.

Next came a socially distanced garden visit from my second born daughter and her partner, with their gorgeous and enormous 9 month old German Shepherd/Bull Mastiff cross puppy. The visit alone was wonderful but then they left me with two little boxes wrapped up to open when they left - which once unwrapped exposed a gorgeous deep glossy black cauldron mug and candle melt/incense burner. I love the mug so much I have put it on my altar because I am terrified of chipping it and have decreed to only drink from it each year on my birthday! The burner will be used during spell and ritual work - both of which I adore and feel enormously grateful for.

Second born offspring

Partner  of second born and their massive 9 month old puppy 

Mug

Burner

Then finally, today the final gift arrived - one that again reduced me as always into a blubbering wreck of overwhelming emotions.

A little background as to why this gift is so special is that I have multiple allergies - which makes jewellery particularly difficult as I can only wear titanium. My family know that I love divination and particularly using runes - I have three sets of runes, all of which I love. Plus, I am hugely drawn to trees, they bring me much peace and happiness when around them. Family is also very important to me and I become very attached to the sentiment behind gifts and hold onto them and cherish them.

I used to always wear a watch, a metal mans watch that my husband gave me before we were married - a simple inexpensive watch that meant the world to me, but due to allergies I can no longer wear - although I still have it. My daughter enquired a few months ago whether I missed wearing a watch and I told her I did but had given up on one because I didn't know if titanium watches were even a thing, let alone affordable.

SO, my first and third born offspring clubbed together and purchased the gifts (seen below) hand crafted from someone with a small business in Israel.

First born offspring

Third born offspring

The beautiful box the gift arrived in with special tool and additional links should they be required.

A gorgeous box to keep forever

My beautiful wooden watch, carved with runes around it and the tree of life in the centre,
even more amazing is that I discovered that the hands of the watch are glow in the dark too!!

Message engraved into the back of the watch

Gorgeous wooden bead on elastic mala bracelet

Cheesy picture of a very happy me wearing both my new gifts!!

The watch is a retro wind up one and not battery run - which I LOVE, plus all the little personal finishing touches to its design. Something that is very special to me and will be forever treasured.

I feel exceptionally fortunate and super lucky to have such a wonderful family around me - they keep me grounded and remind me when feeling in even the lowest of moods that a spark of happiness can be reignited even when you thought it had been extinguished within you.

I just wanted to share this with you because today reminded me to look up and see those people who care and love me and that we matter, all of us - and we are loved, even when we don't always see it.

Love and Blessings

x~X~x

Holding On, focusing on Mind, Body & Soul

Life is weird isn't it - who could have predicted the reality we are currently living in?

We are all living this alternate reality, many of us remaining confined within our homes, adhering to lockdown measures - others coming out the other side and emerging from their homes into a very different world from before.

Mental and physical health issues are more than likely exacerbated by the pandemic as restrictions to access to normal regular supportive care is blocked by measures put in place to stay the viruses progress throughout society. In addition to regular supportive care for existing conditions being inaccessible there are those who are new sufferers, with new conditions needing diagnosing, treating and supporting - how many people are dealing with issues that should be being addressed? 

Grief is abundant as our loved ones become sick and we cannot visit them, some survive whilst others sadly move on to the Summerland. We can't follow the grieving process as we would normally do, no visitation of the deceased in the chapel of rest, no proper funeral service with our friends and family around us and no wake to support each other whilst reminiscing and honouring our loved one. It makes the situation feel surreal making the reality of what has happened difficult to grasp and address.

We are all living in different situations, some alone, some with partners and others with friends and/or family. All have different and unique complications and difficulties to address, being so tightly restricted by the boundary of our homes. I feel for each and everyone of you, whichever situation you find yourself in - none more or less challenging than the other - everything is relative.

Whilst I am lucky to be isolating with my husband and two of my three daughters I am still struggling. Not so much because of not being able to leave my home - that is my normal - I rarely venture out due to limitations of chronic illness.  For those who don't know I'll just name them with a link to each condition which will explain what it is if it isn't something you have come across before - I am admittedly a little greedy and see to have "collected" a few over the years, a collection I would gladly be rid of. These conditions are Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Fibromyalgia, Hypermobility Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Diverticulitis, Chronic long term depression since the age of 18, and Multiple Allergies - the worst culprits being all forms of fragrance and latex.  

Whilst in lockdown I miss my middle daughter horribly - she lives locally and is so very near for me not to be able to hug her and spend time with her. I know many of you are experiencing this and my heart goes out especially to those of you isolating alone and having to rely on video calls and so on for social contact.

I have only been out of the house four times since lockdown began, once to try and walk in the meadows - it was too exhausting for me and I haven't ventured out since. Then twice in the car - to drive and register a death and then later to attend a funeral. After that weeks went by without trying to go out again. This week I tried to bake flapjack - it was a disaster and no flapjacks were made, however the disastrous flapjacks resulted in chonky yummy oat biscuit things instead. I cut them up and packaged some into a box and my my husband drove me to her home to drop them off for her to cheer her up.

It was wonderful to see her as she opened her front door to retrieve the treats as we waved to her from the roadside. My heart ached as I saw her and the urge to go across to her and hold her in a massive bear hug was immense - but I didn't and instead told her I loved her and felt comforted having seen her. Having a compromised immune system I wore my facemask for the first time whilst we were out - a pack of two made by a woman in her home trying to do what she could to make a living during the pandemic. I took my mask down briefly (but only because no one else was around and we were more than two metres apart - I hasten to add) when her dog was out because he is a puppy (all be it an enormous one) who would have been spooked by it - she had him on his harness and on a long lead so he could approach us for fuss whilst keeping our distance from each other. He is a Bull Mastiff Alsatian cross and gorgeously friendly but at 7 months is bigger than an average Lab and STILL growing!

Here are a couple of photos (and yes the "flapjacks" were more like hobnobs in taste and texture). 

Vegan failed flapjacks but okay if thought as oat chonky biscuits

Said vegan "biscuits" packaged for middle born offspring

Me and my other half - ready to make the deliver of the oat treats

Middle born offspring with her 7 month old puppy - AND HE'S STILL GROWING!

I'm finding my pagan belief to be immensely comforting to me right now - I am utilising different aspects of it to help feed and soothe my mind, body and soul. 

Meditation is not easy for many of us and has taken me a while to get the hang of it but now I really feel the benefit of practicing it. I prefer guided meditations to keep me focussed and so utilise YouTube to search out new and different meditations - I have a few favourites but enjoy trying new ones too. 

I also love Tai Chi, it helps to put on some gentle music and just go through the movements very slowly, emptying the mind and just focusing on moving your body gently, smoothly and slowly as you go through the routine. I have an appalling memory and so often do things wrong and need to sort out the video to work to so that I can get it right each time instead of my usual ad hoc approach. Even better is doing the movements in the garden barefoot on the grass - it feels incredibly primal and helps me to ground myself and tune into both the Tai Chi and nature simultaneously.

I am a member of a online pagan school, which I love, yet focussing my mind on study has been an unexpected difficulty - an obstacle I keep trying to chip away at and has meant my assignments are taking much longer for me to complete and require multiple reviews prior to submission. This made me think of all the students out there from school through to university ages and how the lockdown must be affecting them and their studies and ability to concentrate too.

For me, my personal haven is my garden, it is a small oasis where I can stop, empty my mind and chill. I am fortunate to have a decent sized garden, it is pretty much a blank canvas right now due to building works having wrecked it pretty much. I have some potted plants, a few surviving herbs, some potted patio miniature trees and a large grass area. I am planning how to landscape which is a constantly evolving process as I keep changing my mind.

Right now we have long grass and the wild flowers are growing on the lawn - I want to keep it but my husband doesn't so he compromises by only cutting it now and then so between times I can enjoy the longer grass and flowers. As an additional compromise he has created an area where I can plant wildflowers once we have cultivated the soil from the hard cracked brown area it is at them moment Our raised vegetable plots are waiting for lockdown measures to ease so we can have a large amount of top soil delivered to fill them with - and my greenhouse stands empty waiting for compost, seeds and pots etc to fill it.

So for now I am tending to my existing patio pots and trees, enjoying the wildflowers and the antics of the many varied garden birds that come to see us, along with our squirrel family. Just sitting outside, in all weathers, is awesome - we have a hut on the patio which shelters me from rain and allows me good views of the bird and squirrel feeder.

I like to hold onto my camera and snap random pictures when I can, although I had a period of weeks at the beginning of lockdown when my cameral lay untouched as I lost the desire to do anything.

Now, I focus on coping mechanisms, how to remain sane among the insanity of this situation, ensuring I tend to my mind body and soul as best I can and try to help those I love find their own coping strategy. Sometimes all you can do is stop and listen, just to be there, say nothing and offer silent support and understanding. 

Feeding my spiritual, physical and emotional aspects is helping me through - I won't lie, I'm still finding it a real struggle. The hardest struggle is against my own body, inexplicably its crashed and I am having increased physical and mental exacerbation of symptoms. My mobility has massively been impacted as I struggle just to get up and walk about the home and garden, the idea of a once possible short walk to the local meadow is now out of the question. I have fear of this being a new normal and not improving, however I push that to the back of my mind and am hopeful that with careful daily practice I can improve over time.

This month is chronic invisible awareness month which includes all of my conditions among others. For me lockdown is my everyday - with the exception that I can't see those outside my home who I would normally have visit and the disruption of some services I would normally be utilising. For those of you who are fit and well this reality you are finding yourself in is how many of us with invisible disabilities live all the time. Measures have been made to help everyone in lockdown - measures which were deemed impossible when called for over the years for the disabled population prior to the pandemic. I hope some these measures will continue to be available to disable people once the pandemic is in the rear view mirror - but somehow I have a feeling that this is somewhat an over optimistic hope. 

All I can hope is that you can hold on, focus on balancing the needs of your mind, body and soul during this dark time and have the ability to reach out to others for help should you need it. To find support through phone calls, video calls, letters, conversations through windows or over the garden fence. To have the concentration to focus on that which interests you - be it bird watching, reading, painting, baking (if you can find eggs, flour and sugar - its been ages since I've had any flour or caster sugar for baking), studying a new interest, singing, dancing - whatever it is that helps make you feel alive and happy.

For those of you who are grieving my heart aches for you - I think almost all of us have lost someone during this time, sometimes multiple people and it hurts. Allow yourself to feel grief, anger, loss, hurt  among the vast spectrum of emotions - do whatever it takes to cope with the situation you find yourself in. Scream into a pillow if you are close to others and may scare them - if you are lucky and have space go outside and let out a primal scream, pound the ground, let yourself go and vent. Cry, laugh, shout, scream - whatever works for you. It may be that you just want to be still and quiet - if so take yourself to a quiet safe space and allow yourself the silence and the time to process.

Most of all allow yourself to love yourself and all your flaws - perfection to me is someone who can embrace who they are, just as they are and wholly love themselves. I'm not there yet - but I work towards it perfection is accepting our imperfections, acknowledging, accepting and living with them Working on what needs attention and letting go of others expectations - our lives are ours and therefore we live to satisfy our goals, dreams, ambitions and ethical choices/judgements. If someone is not to your liking you don't have to have them in your life, we don't have to like everyone or be liked by everyone. It's taken me a while to get that - but I'm getting there, it's been a slow process.

Love and tolerance are hard to offer when you don't agree with how a person lives or their beliefs but I am making a concerted effort to practice what I preach. I'm not without fault and have at times fallen short with frustration and anger or disbelief at the actions of others, it is exceptionally difficult at times, especially when I see it having a detrimental impact on others. This is when I have to look at my personal ethical code and decide on how to proceed. 

I hope today is kind to you, that you are holding on and know that at some point in the future the pandemic measures will ease. The fear and anxiety may remain for some time yet - we have no idea where we are going with this virus and how it will shape our future. Perhaps the knowledge that we are all in this together and are not alone in these emotions and thoughts helps - perhaps it doesn't. All I know is that we must be kind to one another, we are all living in different circumstances fighting a common enemy. How we react, behave and cope will be different - keep your heart and mind open to supporting others, even if you disagree with how they may behave - we will never know each others full story and what drives us to behave the way we do. Often with the full facts in front of us we see a competently different picture- its all about perspective.

Love & Blessings

x~X~x

Feeding the Mind & Soul

Sometimes you have to immerse yourself in what makes you happy, feeds the mind and soul and makes you feel whole.

I recently embraced the lurking inner witch inside of me and decide to really learn about the craft to further understand what draws me to it and how to utilise it in my daily life.

This discovery has given me a sense of deep inner peace ~ I feel I now fully know who I am and which direction to go in from this moment onward.

I have searched avidly for information about the craft and for guidance to help me decide in which direction I want to go but found that there is so much information that I got a little bamboozled.

THEN I stumbled upon a game changer for me ~ a FREE online school which will help me delve deeper into the subjects that call to me and help me find direction, information, guidance and instruction. I am currently working through orientation classes before I can then choose to study specific topics but my intention is to diligently work through every class that I find I am interested in and learn how to utilise the craft in my daily life for optimum harmony.

I have since also discovered through this first school another which will be opening its doors on Samhain, which I will most definitely enrol in as I have researched both schools and feel both can offer me what I need to continue on my path.

If you are wanting to discover and learn more about the craft then I would urge you to look into both of these schools and see if they offer you what you are looking for.

The first school is The Magical Circle School ~ TMCS, it offers "The Magickal Circle School of Paganism, Witchcraft, and Wicca is a free online school with courses that teach about Paganism, Witchcraft, Wicca, Mythology, Divination, Healing, and much more!" The school has recently reopened after some major changes  and is now better than ever, the link should you be interested in enrolling is:

https://magickalcircleschool.com/

The second school is Serenity Academy of Magick, which is an online pagan school that as yet is not up and running but will be opening up Samhain 2019, so no link is available yet for me to share with you to link to the school site. However, I am sure you will be able to google search the schools name on Samhain and navigate to it from that.

All I can say is that I am exceptionally grateful and appreciative of the people who are running these schools for giving of their time and expertise for free in order to help other like minded individuals who are wanting to expand their knowledge base and interact with others on the same or similar path.

I am eager to finish my orientation classes and delve deeper and immerse myself in learning more and can see that the information and education gained will be addictive and incredibly satisfying to complete.

So, at the grand age of 50 I am once again a student ~ and loving it!

~ Blessings ~ 

x~X~x

What's A Witch?

What do you think of when you hear that word ~ witch?

Do you automatically go to the witches of our childhood and the fairy stories they exist in?

Do you think of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels and think ah ~ Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax, to name but just two.

Does your mind wander back in history to the witches trials ~ or do you think of the modern witch, someone who could be sitting next to you and you would have no idea?

First stop ~ dictionary definition..

Witch

noun

noun: witch; plural noun: witches

1.

a woman thought to have magic powers, especially evil ones, popularly depicted as wearing a black cloak and pointed hat and flying on a broomstick.

synonyms: sorceress, enchantress, occultist, necromancer, Wiccan; More a follower or practitioner of Wicca or of modern witchcraft.

2.

INFORMAL

an ugly or unpleasant woman.

“he can marry the old witch for all I care”

synonyms: hag, crone, harpy, harridan, termagant, she-devil; More

3.

a girl or woman who is bewitchingly attractive.

4.

an edible North Atlantic flatfish.

verb

verb: witch; 3rd person present: witches; past tense: witched; past participle: witched; gerund or present participle: witching

1.

cast an evil spell on.

“Mrs Mucharski had somehow witched the house”

(of a girl or woman) enchant (a man).

“she witched Jake”

Phrases

as cold as a witch’s tit — very cold.

Origin

Old English wicca (masculine), wicce (feminine), wiccian (verb); current senses of the verb are probably a shortening of bewitch.

Hmm, but that’s not my interpretation of a witch. 

Interestingly when you google search what is the purpose of witchcraft this comes up.. “Witchcraft or witchery is the practice of magical skills and abilities exercised by solitary practitioners and groups. Belief in witchcraft is often present within societies and groups whose cultural framework includes a magical world view. It often occupies a religious divinatory or medicinal role.”

Now that’s more like it ~ for me witchcraft is about understanding nature, our environment, the planet, the stars and all living life forms. It’s about harnessing energies and using them for positive purposes ~ to grow and use herbs, weeds, flowers, plants to create medicinal therapies and/or using the in spells to benefit the receiver. I’m a solitary witch, practising quietly by myself and always learning, discovering and practising the craft to become better and wiser in how to utilise my skills. To find harmony and balance with my surroundings and taking the parts of “witchery” that resonate with me, I don’t worship gods or goddesses but honour the maiden, mother and crone because I see aspects of the in nature, the seasons, in life, everywhere in fact. As a modern day witch I don’t consider myself following a religion but a belief, I don’t adhere to the old and definitive practices but more a open ever evolving freedom to choose my path and decide which aspects to incorporate and which to ignore.

Delving back into the history of witches I find that on the whole they were women trying to help others and were totally misunderstood. “Early witches were people who practised witchcraft ~ they used magic spells and called upon spirits for help or to bring about change. Most witches were thought to be pagans doing the Devil’s work. Many, however, were simply natural healers or so-called “wise women” whose choice of profession was misunderstood.“

Ooh I like the description of “wise woman” no one’s ever called me that! Also the healer description resonates with my inner nurse ~ I like that description because the healing touch ~ or energy healing, is something I am currently learning.

If you are interested in healing touch it is described by The Healing Touch Program as ..

“Healing Touch is an energy therapy in which practitioners consciously use their hands in a heart-centered and intentional way to support and facilitate physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. 

It is a biofield (magnetic field around the body) therapy that is an energy-based approach to health and healing. It uses the gift of touch to influence the human energy system, specifically the energy field that surrounds the body, and the energy centers that control the flow from the energy field to the physical body. 

These non-invasive techniques employ the hands to clear, energize, and balance the human and environmental energy fields, thus affecting physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. It is based on a heart-centered, caring relationship in which the practitioner and client come together energetically to facilitate the client’s health and healing. The goal of Healing Touch is to restore balance and harmonies in the energy system, placing the client in a position to self heal.“

Further explanation from this site goes on to explain how it works..

“Many theoretical frameworks on how energy medicine works exist in the literature of quantum physics and holistic healing. However, while the exact physics mechanisms can not be definitively described at this time, the cumulative results of numerous related studies on energy medicine and consciousness indicate strong support that “something is happening” and that recipients respond positively to energy therapies such as Healing Touch.

Over the years, researchers have developed ways to measure the energy field. Theoretically, by correcting any defects in the energy field, energy therapy practices may facilitate healing of the body, mind and spirit.

Energy therapies focus on removing energy congestion that form in our energy fields (aura) and energy centers (chakras). Once these imbalances and disturbances are cleared, the energy channels resume their task of integrating the body, mind and soul to restore health and promote healing. It may also help to prevent future issues by restoring balance to energy field disturbances, which could later result in illness if left unbalanced.

To gain a deeper understanding of the science supporting energy healing, please refer to the many books, journal articles and research findings written on this subject. Scientific evidence does exist that supports the premise that energy healing is effective. However, an experience is worth a thousand words, so the receiving of a Healing Touch treatment can do more to understand this phenomena than all the writings in the world.“

If you are interested in more information or courses then have a look at this link.. https://ttouch.org.uk/

I am working small spells at the moment, learning very slowly how to harness energies and focus intentions. Not spells that you see in films with bangs, whizzes and puffs of green smoke, more focusing the mind, setting intentions and sending them out. I am also fascinated by Tarot cards and their uses along with runes. I love my spirit animal tarot oracle card pack which I use regularly for guidance. My full Rider Waite deck has just arrived which I need to sage and familiarise myself with before learning how to use them properly.

In addition to the above I am also attending Tai Chi for arthritis classes with a rheumatology physiotherapist which I am loving and we are learning the forms and working towards being able to do the full routine daily as physical therapy and meditation with movement relaxation therapy.

So in answer to the question ~ what’s a witch? 

A witch can be many different things ~ depending on the path they have chosen and the practices they like to follow. 

Some like the occult aspect, some nature, some the religious side and others ~ like me ~ create their own path. Some join covens, working with others, whist some work alone. 

The subject is vast and the paths to take are numerous from the strict historical old practices to the new age modern interpretation. From the occult to the divine, following the moon and astrology to nature and the planets workings. Some do spells, some love crystal usage, meditation and divination and tarot readings and runes. 

There is so much more than this but they are just examples. The beauty of being a witch is that you are the person you choose to be and dabble in the aspects of witchcraft that call to you. Each of us are different and there is no right or wrong ways to practice.

For some it is a religion and Gods and Goddesses are worshipped. I don’t do that personally but I do definitely feel a higher energy exists in some form but I can’t see it as a divine being, more part of the universe itself. 

For me it’s a lifestyle ~ trying not to give out any negative energies when possible ~ that said I’m no saint and have grumpy grouchy days. Mostly I try to work on the basis of give out what I would like to receive back and try to be mindful of my thought processes, mostly to protect myself and stay away from toxicity.

~ Blessed Be ~

x~X~x