Fabulous, Magickal and Disabled

Magic is all around us whether we realise it or not.

Its in the people around us and our connection with them.

Its in the love we receive from the animals around us.

Its in the smells we inhale when we are outside.

It's in the flowers, plants and trees that surround us.

It's the feelings we receive when we are reaching for an answer, those in the spirit realm are sending messages and answers our way.

It's in everything we see, we touch, we smell, we hear, we experience ~ tiny almost insignificant details can have a bigger impact than you first think.

Do you think of someone and then the phone rings, or an object falls into your eye line that relates to them, a song plays on the radio that has a link to them ~ that's magic.

I believe that magic is in the everyday, it is part and parcel of our life of who we are and it doesn't have to be all spell work or rituals.

I think spells, for me anyway, are more a whispered word, a focus of intent, a series of actions, a state of mind. Rituals for me are how I carry out specific tasks focusing on the magickal intent and not necessarily a ceremony as such. I have a very loose approach to how I perform magick and I know that how we approach it is different for all of us. Performing spells at an alter is something I do on occasion but mostly it will be in a casual informal setting such as the kitchen, bathroom or outside where I cast them. With just focusing the mind and a whispered word here and there with perhaps the burning of herbs or an offering.

Rituals, for me, are also very casual and informal, I find that this way I feel more connected to what I am doing and can focus on the my intent easier.

My magickal belief and Wiccan religion provide me with spiritual fulfilment and keep me balanced emotionally. However, it doesn't help my physically and wonder if any of my witch friends have any ideas on that score?

Trying to shower using the stool often results in pools of water on the floor due to the small shower screen which annoyingly opens inwards so I have to stand, push in screen before sitting back down to dry myself after the shower and you can see the bathroom door too which is opposite the sink and so you have to shimmy past that when you get out too! 

However, being magickal can be tough when you are disabled, it has obstacles preventing you from doing the things you would love to be able to do.

I would love to go to religious festivals and dance, sing and explore with other witches but I can't. Mobility and energy limitations, for now at least, make this too big an ambition to achieve.

I would love to walk for miles like I used to with the dogs, across meadows and uneven terrain taking in the beauty of nature and laughing watching the dogs bound around with each other whilst taking in the smells and sights around them.

I would love to spend hours in the kitchen cooking batches of savoury dishes and baking cakes and biscuits for my family.

I would love to be able to clean my own home.

I would love to be able to drive and fetch and carry for my husband and daughters.

I would love to not have to wear supports, splints and using aids whilst out and around the home.

I would love to do so much for my girls and husband, like I used to, to actively help and support them in every way possible,

I would love to have a job and earn an income.

All these things and more I would LOVE to be able to do but with deteriorating health due to chronic health conditions, I can't. I can do bits, here and there, but only a little.

It is frustrating.

It is upsetting.

I grieve for what I used to have.

I feel angry that it's been taken from me.

I don't like having to rely on others.

This doesn't help, these are negative emotions but sometimes I feel you have to let them in, to acknowledge them, before you can move on with a more positive mindset.

For me, the worst aspect of living with chronic illness is the necessity of being reliant on others to assist me in aspects of life that are now difficult to do myself. I'm only human and I have moments of weakness and yesterday was one of those, I admit I spent much of the day in tears through sheer grief and frustration.

I miss my independence, my husband is now not only working extremely hard in order to provide for us all but in addition he now has carer duties too, shopping on his way home for food, cooking, sorting and generally running around after me. He drives everywhere, does everything and I feel so helpless not being able to take any of the burden off him and knowing I am adding so much additional work and stress to his life.

This is something I am pretty sure everyone living with disability must feel, nobody enjoys seeing those they love running around after them and seeing them be so tired and stressed.

My husband never complains about these additional duties, but I know it gets him down.

My automatic car replaced my geared one when it became too tiring to drive but now even driving an automatic car is a challenge and so most days I can't drive. This adds even more pressure onto my husband who then has to provide lifts for our daughters when I can't, although I do try to do it when I can. I know the time will soon come when I will have to hang up my car keys for good and that will be a very sad day.

How do we, as people requiring the assistance of carers, make life easier for those who care for us?

I tried but was unsuccessful in claiming benefits to help supplement our income as I can't work but I was deemed not sick enough, which seems to be something far too many of us are coming across. I could have appealed but it takes so much energy and fight that I  gave up. I see the constant battle my daughter has to keep hers and the sheer volume of forms (large forms at that) that keep needing filling in, along with fit notes to prove she is not fit for work and so many supplementary forms that it's exhausting. She needs help filling them in and its a real joke that someone disabled with cognitive issues has to fill so many complicated forms so frequently just to keep benefits that she is eligible for. No wonder so many people give up, I swear they do this deliberately to make it hard for anyone to claim and keep their disability money.

If anyone has any life hacks, top tips or anything at all they could share with me I would be very receptive. I would love to make life easier for my husband and somehow lessen the load he carries and make his life easier. I know once the extension is complete life will be better as I will be able to navigate the home better and keep on top of bits and pieces I can't right now because the layout will be much better and more open, I will have a bungalow layout and no stairs which will be awesome!

I am caring for my emotional health via my religious beliefs, the Wiccan religion resonates so much with me and offers me a lot of strength and comfort. however would love to learn of ways I can utilise witchcraft to help with my physical health and am calling out to any witches who can offer any advice on this score, even better if you are a disabled witch yourself and so can relate to my position.

If you are struggling you have my support and sympathy, if you are a carer you really are extremely valuable and appreciated, the work you do for those you care for means so much to those of us on the receiving end and we cannot thank you enough for your love and support.

~ Brightest Blessings ~ 

 x~X~x