So, Tell Me..

So, tell me .. what is it you want to change?

Now that's one loaded question!

Today was initial assessment day prior to commencing the therapy proper.

For me questions like this are always very difficult to answer, because sometimes there is no absolute answer but a multitude of less concrete more obscure answers.

The therapist is lovely, she is firm, friendly and won't be fudged!

Due to various reasons I can't take medication any more and all I have is therapy and mindfulness to fall back on to control my mental health demons. It is crucial when going down the therapy route for you to like and trust your therapist and thankfully I do - which is a bonus, I didn't fancy having to ask for an alternative person. Historically, for my one to one sessions I have always had amazing therapists - however the family therapy we had several years ago wasn't so great - but perhaps that was down to being a weird dynamic and strange situation rather than a poor therapist.

This time though, I am not with the family, neither am I alone - I am going with my husband - the thinking behind it is that with mental health you need to approach and deal with the bigger picture. My husband is my friend, partner, husband, lover and carer - he has known me for 46 of my 50 years of living on this earth and so in order for things to move forward for a more positive and secure mental health future his presence is essential too. We need to work together to ensure we are both on the same page and find a path that works for both of us to work in harmony towards a mutual end goal.

It means talking frankly, with blatant honesty to each other - to speak about the good and the bad and the various issues or bug bears we have with each other. It is all done respectfully within a safe space and this first session has underlined how secure we are as a couple and that we are more united now than when we first stepped out together, which is heartwarming. However, because of the general life shit shows we are having thrust upon us we are navigating more than our fair share of emotional and physical crap and its sometimes difficult to see the wood for the trees at these times.

Going as a couple to therapy is brilliant, we can discuss it together afterwards and we will be given "homework" to work through and suggestions to contemplate as we move forwards. Focusing on our mental health and accessing help is just as important as focusing on physical health and visiting a GP if you need to. Thankfully, the stigma around mental health care and issues is gradually diminishing as more and more people step forward and talk about it, bringing it into the mainstream and everyday.

For us, doing this therapy route together is a new and unknown journey but one we are both open to and ready to give it our all. Our aim is to adjust to the carer/patient roles along with navigating the plethora of other unfortunate incidents that are currently putting us on difficult ground and find ways to address them without diminishing our mental or physical health and remaining united towards achieving our end goals.

Our daughters are on board and supportive of our journey, we have to lead by example and being advocates of seeking help from whatever quarter is necessary to ensure stability with mental and physical health means that we have to do as we say to our girls and not say one thing but do (or not do) another.

Today I feel hopeful, I feel grateful and I feel loved. Life may be a trial right now in many ways but it is also exceptionally precious and worth fighting to make it the best it can be, regardless of what else is going on, to not let life beat us down but instead to rise up and carry on, finding the happy and the positive within the quagmire of shite, even if that means wearing thigh high gum boots to keep the shit out!

So, next week we have our first constructive session and "homework" to progress through. It may not be easy, but something tells me that it's going to be worth it.

I also have to say -sometimes it is also extremely vital have a damn good cry too - let all that anguish out and really let that valve go nuts as it releases the pressure. OR have a completely wild laughing fit, just let yourself go, relax into it and just free yourself to become it, laugh until your face hurts, your sides and stomach aches and your voice is hoarse. Both are awesome ways to release the tension and it has been known for me to do both at the same time much to the consternation of my onlooking family - who inevitably realise its best to just let me get on with it until I am done.

I know many of you are navigating difficult paths right now and just urge you to be kind to yourself and to accept help to support you during the toughest times, don't let anyone tell you what to do but please allow them to support you whilst you figure out your next move.

~ Brightest Blessings ~ 

 x~X~x